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My cat and I used to be so close |
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January 18th, 2007 11:55am |
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My cat and I used to be so close. Her name is Laverne. (Her sister is Shirley the Cat). When we met it was an instant friendship. We had so much in common: we both enjoyed naps, both liked tuna, and watched the same television programs. We would both giggle when Wilford Brimley commercials came on and he pronounced diabetes wrong. We both adored 'Law and Order' and the fact that we could watch it anytime of the day we wanted. Together we would sing the theme songs to cheesy Disney Channel sitcoms. These were golden moments and we were the best of friends. Everywhere I went, she would follow. Each day began with me working at my desk and Laverne crawling up to say hello. I would scratch her ears and she would tell me hilarious jokes.
She used to purr like a helicopter as I held her in my arms, but things are so different now. The winds of change came blowing through our home like a hurricane. The clouds rolled back and I saw in them a vision of Laverne – and she was no longer the same. I never knew puberty came so early for cats. Maybe Laverne is an early bloomer or maybe I just didn't realize that what took us humans 13 or so years took cats about 6 months. Now that Laverne is suddenly a woman, it seems like our relationship will never be what it once was.
Her pregnancy came as a shook to both me and my wife. We decided it was time I sat Laverne down and had a talk:
Me: Laverne, we need to talk.
Laverne: (silence)
Me: I don't approve of the choices you've been making lately.
Laverne: (silence)
Me: What? Are you just gonna sit there and give me the silent treatment? Okay. But know this- we do not approve of this lifestyle you're living. I told you that boyfriend of yours was trouble from the start. What were you thinking? What about diseases? You're not even married! Who's going to raise these kittens? Not your mom and I. Are you even going to keep them? What will the neighbors think?
Laverne: (opens mouth- gives slight meow/yawn)
Me: Now, you're just being smart aleck. Where'd you learn that? On the streets with Mr. Orange Cat and the rest of those strays you spend your time with. (slight pause) I'm sorry. I didn't mean to insult your friends. This is about you. Laverne, I want my little girl back. Also, seriously are you going to keep these kittens? I believe in the right to life and I'm not even sure if cats can have aborti...
It was in the middle of my emotional speech that Laverne walked away. I had hoped I would get through to her, but it seemed she and I were farther apart than ever. It was in that moment that I realized things would never quite be the same. She had changed and I had changed.
The tears were forcefully held back as I then turned on my television and watched "That's So Raven" alone on my couch.;
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