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Socrates’s Lesser Known Brother, Mediocretes, Fills In For Him One Day |
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October 26th, 2006 5:05pm |
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Well, I guess the more observant of you may have noticed that I am not your teacher. Nope, I..m not. Unless, of course, your teacher got a little bit younger and a whole lot cooler! The anser is: he didn't. He's home sick. I convinced him to let me fill in and teach his class for the day. I was surprised he obliged, but he was pretty heavily medicated.
(Grabs stick and writes his name on the ground)
My name is Mr. Mediocretes, but you can just call me ..Mediocretes.. if you'd like. My brother sent you guys a whole lot of busy work. I could make you do it, but what kind of guy would that make me? That would make me my brother and I..ll never be my brother. That's something mother reminds me of everyday.
Now, I know you guys are used to the "Socratic Method" where my bro asks you questions and you guys search for truth and meaning and blabbity blah blah blah. I'd like to introduce you to the "Mediocre-atic Method" (Yeah mom, I've got my own method, too. "How does it work," you ask? First off: There will be no questions. What do you know anyway? Questioning things makes you look weak. School is about learning to look like you know what you're talking about. It's also about learning useful things. We won't be "discussing" art or "discussing" philosophy or nothing of that sort. You know what I think about that? Art-Shmart. Philosophy-Shmilosophy.
But, if you really have a deep sickening need to ask questions I will allow them, but only from a limited lineup of topics. The topics are as follows: 1. Mediocretes, how..d you get so cool and why is your brother so lame? 2. Tacos: Why are they so great? and 3. Living off your parents income for as long as possible. Those are things I know about. Let's stick to those. There's no need discussing why my brother fought in the Pelopynesian War and why I didn't. We don't need to talk about Plato, the guy who thinks he's so "great-o". We don't need to be discussing virtue or anything like that.
Bottom line: there's more to life than thinking. There are other things like: women and chariots. I'm sure you all saw that sweet ride I came in. You think thinking got me that chariot? No sir. I got that chariot through hard work. I polish the statues outside of the Acropolis. I also polish sandles on the side. You may have noticed I'm not wearing any sandles. Mediocretes don't need sandles. Who needs sandles when you've got feet? I mean, feet that go over your feet? Think about it people. That'll never work. Sandles .. shmandles.
Class will be over soon so I want to leave with a few final thoughts. I know today has been awesome and has shaken up your reality, but you need to remember these last few things. School is for dummies. You..ll get no ladies here at school. There are none here. Look around. It's all dudes in long shirts. Number three, don't invest in sandles. Find something that will catch on. And finallly, my brother claims that he is wise because he knows that he doesn't know anything. If that's a fact, then I'm a genuis.
Now, who wants to cruise Athens in my chariot?;
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